Friday, May 31, 2013

Marriage – the facts you need to know - 45

Marriage – the facts you need to know - 45

 

·         You need to know to not get comfortable with her making more money than you do.

·         You need to know your wife could have three personalities in one day: full-time employee, working mom, and full-time wife.

·         You need to know it's her nature to beat a subject to death, pick it up, kill it again, then burn it, then gather all the ashes together, and beat it again. It's a gift only women have. You still have to listen.

·         You need to know menopause affects husbands and wives. No matter which one is going through it.

·         You need to know men go through a form of menopause too. True.

·         You need to know millions of couples have successfully navigated menopause without a divorce.

·         You need to know menopause is a time when the sheets can get sweated up without anybody doing anything.

·         You need to know women tend be hot, cold, ecstatic, and suicidal all within a two-minute period. Men tend to remain confused.

·         You need to know a man in menopause is very much like a thirteen-year-old boy. Lost, dazed, and not sure what to do next.

·         You need to know that women in menopause tend to cry. Men tend to withdraw.

·         You need to know problems arise when both husband and wife hit menopause at the same time.

·         You need to know she could be dripping sweat while he's wearing his parka.

·         You need to know men feel helpless when their wives go through menopause. You can't stop the sweating, you can't stop the crying. The only thing you can stop is worrying about it.

·         You need to know that when a woman is suffering through menopause, men can't do anything right. Simply asking "How do you feel?" could launch World War III.

·         You need to know to tell each other how great they look in reading glasses.

·         You need to know it's best to not make any major decisions during this time. Not about your relationship or plastic surgery or getting a tattoo.

·         You need to know that getting into an argument with someone whose hormones are out of whack is a suicide mission.

·         You need to know this too shall pass. Sometime. Far, far out in the future. May be.

·         You need to know that a woman thinks about her wedding all her life. He hasn't thought about it two minutes. He doesn't know what kind of lowers he wants. He doesn't care what the color theme should be.

·         You need to know men and women think about housework differently. For one thing, women think about it.

 

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