Marital Relationship After Child Birth
A baby is definitely an exciting thing. The idea of a small being adding to the extension of your family is really thrilling. Pre-parental preparations will be in full swing and you tend to connect all that you see and hear with your baby or with the arrival of your baby. It is no doubt quite a bit of a preparation for the two of you like attending classes and getting to read materials on baby care. Much of the time is spent on the preparations for the baby; however both of you may fail to notice the new twist in your relationship that the new entrant is about to bring about.
The Triad
So far the two of you have been couples and with the arrival of the infant you become a parent. This transformation brings about a lot of changes in your relationship; the way you perceive things and your attitude towards one another.
The late night feeding and diaper changing may be irritable in the early days of the baby's growth. The attention to the baby is demanding and may upset the daily routine of the work at home. The inability to strike a balance between the work at home, office and the task of caring for the baby may surmount to bring about a feeling of guilt in the men. This may also result in an obvious jealousy in fathers for getting to handle the child only a little when compared to the mothers.
The mothers are exposed to new confrontations in terms of their looks. Seeming dark circles and weight gain may affect their sexual relationship with their spouse. Apart from all this you and your partner may have different approaches for baby care that may cause a bit of an argument in the daily conversations.
Understanding And Handling Conflicts
If not perfect, a little understanding between the two of you will help ease out the demanding situation. Firstly, while you get prepared for the baby, prepare for the relationship between the two of you. Plan ahead about your roles in not only taking care of the baby but also in dividing your daily chores amongst yourself. Adjust the plans accordingly after the baby's birth.
Sometimes you may not be able to complete the assigned work. Hence instead of throwing accusations against each other, sit down and talk. Try to understand your spouse's problem and sort it out then and there. For example a father may feel that it is ok with the mother to take care of the child as he had had a busy day at the office. The mother may mistake him as distancing from the baby. Communication and understanding is that which can sort out things.
Always avoid accusations at the very beginning of the conversation. Do not pull in the past wrongs while trying to sort out things. This can only make matters worse. Be polite and avoid raising your voice. Instead put things in an acceptable tone. Make sure to patch up in front of a toddler or an older child if you had engaged in an argument in their presence. Remember even minor issues play a major role in the moulding of the child's personality. As for mothers adhering to beauty care after childbirth can cover up the weight gain. As for dark circles, they are bound to disappear with the passing of time.
The birth of a child, or an inclusion of an added member in the family does not mean that you have to sacrifice your relationship with each other. Always make sure you find time to spend with each other. You can go out for a stroll with the baby in the evenings. Entrust the baby to the care of a willing grandparent while you both go out for a while. You can also get engaged in a little chat with each other when the child is sleeping. It is also very important for a little recreation for the two of you. Try bringing home friends for a get together if you are unable to meet them out.
If things get very difficult to manage, you can resort to having a baby sitter to help you out.
Last but not the least, understand the fact that the baby is a part of you both, your own which will help all the little troubles drift away like passing clouds.
